


If you ever want to be in love

by Tulle24



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, First Time, Fluff, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:48:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27497458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tulle24/pseuds/Tulle24
Summary: The thing is, Louis is straight.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 12
Kudos: 121





	If you ever want to be in love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [whoknows](https://archiveofourown.org/users/whoknows/gifts).



> This is another story for you, Wendy. It is thank you for writing fics that I love and which have helped me through so many bad times. You are one of my favourite writers, not just in fanfiction but in fiction in general. This is also a thank you for always answering my many questions. Thank you so much. I don't think I could ever describe how much your works mean to me.
> 
> This is so nerve-wrecking. I've tried to something which sounds a bit like your style even though this pales in comparison. I've even used a line or two from some of your fics as a shout out. I really, really hope I've managed to write something you like.  
> I've never written smut before and I don't have anyone to discuss it with. Is Louis too loud? Do I talk too much about what look Harry has in his eyes? Is it even hot? I don't know. It's is incredibly sappy, it's too much but I don't know how to change it. Bear with me.   
> I have gone through it a million times so I'm just going to post it now. This could be canon. I chose to use the name Natalie because I'm more comfortale with that, but if you want it to be canon then it's canon. I don't know if the plot makes sense, if it seems believable but that's how I wanted it to go. It might be a little self-serving but that's neither here nor there. The title is from James Bay's song "If you ever want to be in love".
> 
> I'm not a native English speaking and I'm not as good at English as I used to be so the language might be a little lacking. I changed most of the says into something else just to change them back. I don't understand the English comma rules so I've just used them as I see fit. I tried my best and this is it.

Harry is lying with his head in Louis’ lap because Natalie broke up with him three weeks ago and Harry deserves to have his hair played with. He also deserved to pick the movie they’re watching with a minimum of complaints from Louis. Some might say that Harry deserved no complaints from Louis but they don’t know Louis. Or Harry for that matter. Harry likes Louis’ complaints. He might say otherwise but Louis can tell that he’s lying from the way his lips sometimes twitch when he complains about Louis’ complaints. It’s a French indie movie and Louis has a hard time concentrating on it. He’s busy with Harry’s curls anyway, they are much more important.

“I wish I had that,” he says. Sighs, really. Louis has to spend a moment watching the movie to get what Harry is talking about. On the screen a couple is talking about marriage, about their future together. Harry was with Natalie for almost a year, his longest relationship ever.

“You will,” Louis says because of course Harry will. Harry wants to be in a dedicated, serious relationship. He had begun talking about moving in together with Natalie, about them settling down together. Natalie breaking up with him had taken Harry by surprise. It had taken Louis by surprise too because Harry is an amazing boyfriend, attentive and romantic and anyone would be lucky to have him.

“Will I?” Harry asks. He sounds longing but not heartbroken. Not like he just got out of a year long relationship.

“Of course you will. You want to have that and you will find it. You just have to find the right person,” he answers even though it’s a cliché. Louis just doesn’t really know what else to say.

“Hmm,” Harry says, still looking at the screen. Louis is a bit at a loss. Harry had seemed so happy with Natalie, so happy to be with her and he did cry when he told Louis about the break up, but he doesn’t seem that sad about it any longer. It seems a bit odd, considering how invested he was. Louis is still coddling him just in case he’s putting up a front. Harry hasn’t ever put up a front before, he’s very open about his emotions, with Louis more than anyone else but one time has to be the first. It would explain Harry’s behaviour.

“Up,” Louis tells him because something has to be done about this. “Come on, sit up, Harry.”

Harry sits up, frowning a bit. “What?”

“We’re talking about this. You’re being odd,” he says. 

“How am I being odd?” Harry asks with that same frown. Louis has never liked that frown on Harry’s face. He only likes the frowns that he puts there on purpose.

“You’re not sad about losing Natalie anymore. You ought to be sad about it but you hardly seem to miss her anymore. You wanted to move in with her but here you are, three weeks later and you’re doing fine. You ought to be heartbroken but you seem to have moved on already,” Louis says, a bit frustrated because he doesn’t understand what’s going on with Harry and he is not used to that. Louis always knows what’s going on with Harry.

“You want me to be heartbroken?” Harry asks with raised eyebrows.

“Well, no, of course not. I just want to know why you aren’t. Do you miss her?” Louis probes.

“Of course I miss her, she was my girlfriend. I just. Natalie didn’t want to be with me and I respect that,” Harry says like that explains everything.

“You can respect that and still miss her. Do you even love her anymore?” Louis asks which isn’t a fair question but Louis needs to get to the bottom of this.

“Yes, I still love her. I was with her for eleven months, that kind of love just doesn’t go away. I’m just not in love with her anymore. I mean, why be in love with someone who isn’t in love with you? That would just break your heart,” Harry says and looks Louis straight in the eyes. Louis doesn’t like where this is going.

“Well. Okay,” Louis falters. “So, Natalie wasn’t the one. It’s good that she realised that otherwise you both could have gotten your hearts really broken down the line. This saved you both from wasting each other's time.”

“Yeah, it was the right decision. She deserved better,” Harry says. He’s being skittish though. There’s something he’s not telling.

“What do you mean with that? She deserved better?” Louis frowns.

Harry hesitates and looks away. He’s debating whether to tell Louis or not. He shouldn’t bother, Louis is going to get it out of him regardless.

“Natalie broke up with me because I didn’t love her enough, not because she didn’t love me enough,” Harry explains. He seems disappointed with himself.

Louis nods and looks away. This is not good.

But Louis can fix this. He can make Harry believe that he will find someone new to fall in love with. The first step is making him not feel guilty for not returning Natalie’s feelings. Because that’s nothing to feel guilty about. It’s not.

“H, that’s okay. You can’t control your feelings. You can’t make yourself feel something you don’t. It doesn’t work like that,” he says because it doesn’t. He would know.

“Yeah. I know,” and Harry has this intense look in his eyes when he looks at Louis. It makes Louis want to squirm. He doesn’t.

Louis really, really needs to take this conversation in another direction. They should focus on the future, not the past. There is no reason to revive that.

“Maybe, maybe you should try dating guys. You only date girls. Maybe that’s what is wrong.” 

Louis is grasping at straws. Harry is bisexual but he doesn’t date guys. He has one night-stands with them, sometimes he will even sleep with the same guy a couple of times but he has never dated a guy. 

Harry just laughs a little and shakes his head. “That would not help. Not at all.”

“Harry,” Louis says. He doesn’t want this to be true. 

“Louis, it’s alright. It is what is,” Harry shrugs. It feels like Louis’ tattoo is burning on his skin. “I can’t change how I feel, you can’t change, well, you can’t change your sexuality.”

Louis wishes that he could, but he has never told Harry that. He doubts that there would ever come any good out of it.

“No. No, it’s not alright, Harry. You’re hurting and it’s holding you back and we need to fix this!” Louis exclaims. “Have you ever considered that maybe we shouldn’t be friends? Or maybe just take a break from seeing each other for a while?”

It hurts like hell to say but Harry is already shaking his head. 

“No. I thought about it, but I would rather be your friend and be in love with you for the rest of my life than not have you in my life,” Harry says which is worse than anything he has ever said before. Harry must be able to see it on Louis’ face because he continues, “It’s alright, Louis. I can handle it. It doesn’t hurt as much as used to. It’s just how life is. Either way, it’s how I’ve chosen to deal with this. That helps, that I’ve chosen this.”

Louis can fix this. Louis needs to fix this because Harry is hurting and that simply will not do. He crawls over to Harry and sits on his knees on the sofa. He takes Harry’s face in his hands because Harry needs to understand this. Harry looks at him, waiting for whatever Louis wants to say to him.

“You’re going to move on, you’re going to get past this, okay? You’re going to meet someone, and they won't be as brilliant as I am,” Louis says, making Harry chortle a little like Louis intended. “But that’s okay because you’re going to love them so much more than you love me, okay?”

But Harry is not laughing anymore and he’s shaking his head. “I might meet someone I can truly love, but I could never meet someone I love more than you. I doubt they would even come close.”

Louis rests his forehead against Harry’s and it’s all very dramatic Hollywood movie. Except this is real and Louis doesn’t know what to do.

“Harry, I promise you. You will get past this. You will find someone and you will fall madly in love with them and you will be happy together and have a million babies.” 

And then, because Louis is out of his depths and it’s something they always do in Hollywood movies, he kisses Harry on the cheek. It helps in the movies so it might also help in real life. Harry has closed his eyes and Louis can’t tell if it’s helping or not, so he kisses Harry on the other cheek as well. Only this time he gets a little too close and their noses brush and Harry opens his eyes. They are so close and Harry looks unsure.

Louis kisses Harry again because he has to. There is no other way. Just a soft kiss on his lips. Then another one, a bit stronger because Harry still hasn’t reacted.

Harry’s hands come up to hold Louis’ face so they are now holding each other’s faces. “Louis, what are you doing?”

“I don’t know,” Louis whispers.

“Louis,” Harry starts and it sounds like he’s going to stop Louis and that simply can’t happen. Louis doesn’t know what he would do if Harry made him stop now.

“Please, Harry, just let me,” Louis says, and because Harry will always give in when Louis says please and truly means it, he nods.

Louis has to swallow. This feels huge. He doesn’t know what this is or what it means. He just knows that he wants more so he kisses Harry for real and Harry kisses back, and it feels unreal. Good can’t describe it because Louis doesn’t know what this is, he just wants more. He wants more of this feeling, of feeling like there is nothing else in the world but this, of feeling like nothing could ever be as right as this. 

Louis’ hands have slipped down to Harry’s shoulders and this position is starting to feel uncomfortable so he climbs onto Harry’s lap, his knees on both sides of Harry’s thighs. It means that they are no longer kissing and Harry is looking up at Louis. Harry has never looked at Louis like that before and Louis has never felt as wanted as this. Harry strokes a thumb over Louis’ cheekbones.

“Louis,” he says. “This could really hurt me.”

And Louis knows this, knows that he might be very selfish right now but he still says, “I know. Just, let me try. Just give me a chance.”

“Okay.”

And then Harry’s hand moves down to his neck and the other one is griping Louis’ hip, drawing him closer and he really kisses Louis, not holding anything back. Louis can’t do anything but whimper, cling to Harry’s shoulders and let Harry kiss him. And this feels more like something he has felt before but kissing has never been consuming. Louis has never kissed anyone before who has taken what they wanted, has just made Louis accept whatever he’s given. Harry completely controls the kiss and Louis never wants to stop. He wants to be kissed like this forever.

Harry starts kissing him down his neck and this is just as good, just as amazing but it means that Louis can’t stop himself from making these little sounds. That turns out to be a good thing because it makes Harry groan and pull Louis closer. He pulls him close enough for their crotches to rub against each other and it feels amazing because Harry is hard and so is Louis.  
Which makes Louis freeze completely and Harry stop and pull back.

“Louis. We can stop anytime you want. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. I don’t want you to,” Harry says because of course he does.

Louis looks down at Harry. He’s not used to looking down at Harry like this but he likes it. 

“No, I like it. I want it.” And to prove his point he rolls hips against Harry’s and the pleasure on Harry’s face makes him look gorgeous. More gorgeous than usual and Harry is pretty to begin with.

Harry kisses Louis again and Louis keeps grinding against him and it feels so unbelievably good. Like he is on fire and Harry just makes him burn even hotter. Harry’s hands find their way underneath Louis’ shirt and that’s even better. He goes back to kissing Louis’ neck and it makes Louis make a whiny sound he has never made before. Harry seems to know where this is all going, what is going on, which is good because Louis doesn’t. He just lets Harry be in control and enjoys it so much.

“Louis,” Harry murmurs, biting his earlobe which makes Louis shudder. He can feel Harry smiling against his ear. “Can I take your shirt off?”

Louis doesn’t answer, he just does it.

“Louis,” Harry groans but it sounds like he wants to say something else.

“You too, Harry,” because that’s only fair. Harry strips immediately and that is a sight to behold. Harry is broad shouldered and muscular and covered in tattoos and he looks so good. His skin is warm underneath Louis’ fingers.

"You look so beautiful," Harry says as if Louis is one of the seven wonders or something. It touches something inside of Louis but he can’t examine it further because Harry has found Louis' nipples. When he pinches one, Louis gasps. He isn’t used to like having his nibbles pinched but he’s willing to roll with it.

“Yeah, you like that, don’t you?” Harry all but gloats, way too cocky and does it again. Louis wants to argue but Harry must know that and cuts Louis off by kissing him. It's a good distraction and it feels amazing, of course it does, but it’s not enough. Louis needs more.

“Harry,” Louis murmurs. “Touch me.”

“Yeah?” Harry asks and he looks so turned on and hopeful.

“Yeah.”

Harry starts on the outside, just rubbing Louis’ dick a little. He never thought that he would be here, whining because Harry’s rubbing his dick, but here he is. Whining because Harry is being a tease and not even opening Louis’ jeans. When he finally opens Louis’ jeans, Louis can’t keep himself from watching as Harry’s hand slides into his pants and grabs Louis’ dick. And then he can’t watch any longer because his eyes close on their own accord. It feels so good and Harry is just stroking Louis’ dick slowly and kissing Louis’ neck. How can it feel so good when Harry just got a hand on his dick? 

“Fuck, you look so good like this. Feel good, yeah?” Harry asks as if he can’t tell. His voice has become deep and rumbling. He sounds turned on and Louis can only agree.

“More, God, give me more, Harry,” Louis whines. Louis is not used to making this much noise during. The next word in that sentence is sex but Louis can’t deal with that thought so he just stops there.

“I’ll give you more, Louis, I’ll give you anything you want, anything you’ll ever need,” Harry says into Louis’ ear as he starts pulling Louis off for real and Louis doesn’t know if he’s into dirty talk, but he is definitely into Harry moaning promises into his ears. Louis can only whine and moan which makes Harry kiss him again. Not a bad outcome.

"You look so good. Always looks so gorgeous, don't know how you do it," Harry continues and Louis loves the way Harry says it, loves it when Harry calls him gorgeous, wants him to do it again.

Louis feels like he’s drowning, drowning in sex and pleasure and the only thing he can do is to hold on to Harry. Still, he wants more.

“Harry, I need,” Louis starts but he doesn’t know how to continue.

“I know, baby. I know,” Harry soothes and it goes straight to his head, Harry calling him baby so he has to kiss Harry again.

Harry lets them kiss for a little while and then pulls back and says, “Gonna take these off.”

Harry tips Louis over so he is lying on the sofa and pulls Louis’ jeans off him. He leaves Louis’ pants on and then takes his own jeans off too. Harry looks way too sexy standing there in his pants. He needs to get back to Louis, back to touching him all over.

He goes when Louis reaches out for him, goes back to kissing him. Then he kisses down Louis’ neck, down to his left nipple which he sucks on and then bites. The other he’s pinching with his fingers and Louis is on fire, is moaning, is dripping pre-come.

Harry looks at him, so cocky and happy that Louis can hardly bear it. He goes back to kissing Louis down his stomach and Louis tangles his fingers into Harry’s hair. Harry has always liked it when Louis touches his hair. It makes Harry groan a little.

Louis didn’t know that kisses to his stomach could feel this good, that Harry nibbling on his skin could make his toes curl.

Louis knows where this is going, but it stills makes him suck in a breath. Harry raises his head because he would never ignore anything that could mean even the slightest amount of discomfort for Louis.

“This is good, right, baby?” Harry says and Louis nods because this is so good. “Just gonna take these off.”

Louis is lifting his hips before Harry has even finished his sentence. Harry drags his hands down Louis’ thighs when he takes the pants off Louis and it makes Louis whine with how good it feels.

“God, baby, the way you sound,” Harry groans and they are kissing again before Louis even knows it. Harry uses too much tongue but that’s alright. That’s how Louis needs it. He needs Harry to be everything that he can feel, to be everything there is in the world.

“I’m going to suck your cock, alright?” Harry says into Louis’ mouth and Louis just nods because he wants that so much.

Harry starts with licking all the way up Louis’ dick and Louis can’t control his hips, they just buck up off the sofa. Harry isn’t thrown by this at all, he just holds Louis’ hips down and sucks Louis’ dickhead into his mouth. Louis is loath to admit it, but he wails when Harry does it.

Harry starts sucking his dick, taking him all the back into his throat and Louis just moans and moans. He can’t shut up but that’s okay because Harry likes him like this. It feels incredible, like he could come any second but Louis wants more. He knows what that more is even if he’s not quite ready to admit it.

“Harry,” Louis says. He says it again a little louder when Harry doesn't react. He lets Louis’ dick slip out of his mouth and that makes Louis want to weep a little. Louis looks at Harry but doesn’t know how to find the words. Harry understands anyway. He always does.

“You want that, baby? You want my fingers in you?” he asks and his voice is still so deep. He rubs two fingers against Louis’ hole. It makes Louis do a full body shudder. Harry grins and does it again.

“Harry,” Louis pants. Harry hmm’s and lifts Louis without a warning, making Louis wrap his legs around Harry.

“I can walk, you know. You’re not that good at sucking dick,” Louis grumbles when Harry starts walking towards his bedroom. It's easier to talk when Harry isn’t touching his dick.

“I’m not?” Harry smirks, sounding way too confident and Louis is forced to slap him on the back.

“Ow. It’s easier this way. And I can grab your bum the entire way,” he says and squeezes Louis’ bum. Louis can see the appeal in that, not that he’s going to admit it. They are in Harry’s bedroom anyway so it doesn’t make sense to keep discussing it. Louis still says, “You’re lucky that I’m still up for this when you’re behaving like that.”

“Very lucky,” Harry agrees and puts him down on the bed to kiss him. He reaches over to the night stand and takes out a bottle of lube and a condom. Louis looks at it. It is all very real suddenly. Harry sits back up and takes Louis with him. He carefully holds Louis’ hands.

“We don’t have to do it, any of it. Whatever you are comfortable with,” he says. 

“You know, I would expect you’d be more confident with sex from the way you always strut around. It makes me wonder if it’s all just pretence?” Louis goads instead of admitting that he’s nervous. Louis doesn’t get nervous.

Harry cocks an eyebrow at him. “Oh, it’s not all pretense.”

Harry kisses him and pushes him back until he’s lying down again and it doesn’t take long before Louis feels just as desperate as before. Harry pinches his nipple, bites the skin on his stomach lightly and then he takes Louis’ dick back into his mouth. He runs his hands down Louis’ thighs and it feels like heaven. Louis hears the lube bottle open and has to swallow. He’s pretty certain that Harry notices but Harry doesn’t say anything. He sits back up and Louis watches him lube up his fingers. Three of them. 

They keep eye contact as Harry goes back to stroking Louis’ dick and then Louis can feel a finger, feel the pressure. It becomes too much, having eye contact so he closes his eyes and just feels. Feels the soft pressure, feels how Harry’s finger slowly slides in. Feels how Harry moves it in and out a couple of times before he starts crooking his finger like he’s looking for something. When he finds it, Louis moans out loud and Harry says a quiet ‘yes’ like he has won something. Louis can’t stop moaning however much he wants to because it feels incredible. It’s almost too much, having Harry finger him and stroke his dick. It feels like there is a loop between his hole and his dick and it just keeps getting better and better. He opens his eyes when Harry groans.

“You look so good, baby, getting fingered. Feels good?” he asks even though he must know the answer and Louis can only moan. Harry looks so aroused and he’s just fingering Louis. It’s almost dizzying, the way Harry is looking at him.

“Gonna make you feel even better, gonna give you another one,” Harry says and does just that. Louis can feel the pressure and then another finger, and it feels fuller and better and Louis just wants more. He constantly wants more, it’s like he can’t get enough. Harry scissors his fingers a bit and then he uses his two fingers to rub against Louis’ prostate and Louis can’t help it. He comes. It just gets too good, becomes too much and there is nothing he can do but come. His back is arching and his toes are curling and he sobs Harry’s name.

When Louis is able to turn back in, Harry has stopped stroking him but he’s still got two fingers in him, just being there like they belong inside him. A part of Louis agrees.

“You looked so beautiful, baby, coming like that, coming on my fingers,” Harry marvels and leans forward to kiss Louis.

“Do you want more?” he asks and fingers Louis a bit more. He avoids Louis’ prostate but it still makes Louis whimper. Harry smiles widely and is so gorgeous and smirks, “Yeah, you do. Gonna give you more. Gonna fuck you until you come again.”

Louis whimpers again and makes Harry kiss him again. It feels like Harry just fucked his brain out, except Harry hasn’t fucked him yet. He’s going to do that and Louis wants it, wants it so badly even though he just came. Louis just wants it all.

Louis has to give up on kissing when Harry pushes the third finger in. It’s alright because Harry is then free to talk.

“You feel so good on my fingers, you're going to feel even better on my cock. Looks so fucking beautiful,” Harry tells him.

“More, Harry, more, please,” Louis begs. There’s no other word for it, he’s begging Harry to fuck him. Louis has never thought that he would ever feel good begging anyone to fuck him but Harry makes him like he has never been sexier.

“Yeah, going to give you more. Just gotta make sure you’re properly stretched. Don’t want to hurt you, baby,” Harry replies, which is both really annoying because Louis is getting impatient and so caring that Louis almost wants to cry. He blames it on the ridiculously good orgasm he just had. Harry kisses him some more and that’s a good compromise.

Harry sits back up to find a condom and he looks amazing. It hits Louis just how attracted he is to Harry. He has always known that Harry looks good but he has never truly realised how turned on he is by Harry. Harry and his big dick. Louis still feels a bit nervous about having all of it inside him. Harry kisses Louis softly.

“You still want this? We can still stop,” he says and he looks so sincere and like he isn’t even thinking about how badly he wants to fuck Louis. He better want it badly, otherwise Louis is going to be mad.

“So now you don’t want to fuck me anymore? Got me all desperate and now you’re just going to leave me hanging?” Louis complains. 

“Baby, there’s nothing I want more than to fuck you. Dreamt about fucking you forever,” Harry says and Louis instantly feels treasured. 

“Yeah?” Louis breathes.

“Yeah,” Harry answers and he’s holding Louis’ face with one hand and he still has this sincere, adoring look in his eyes. Louis has to kiss him again.

“Fuck me, Harry,” Louis whispers because it’s too big a thing to be said any louder.

Harry starts pushing in and it’s the same feeling that Louis felt when they kissed at first. He can’t describe it but he wants more so badly. It’s like he could never get enough of this.

“You alright, baby? Feels good?” Harry asks. He sounds strained like it’s finally becoming hard for him to hold back. He must have to be a lot more gentle with Louis than he usually is since Louis hasn’t done this before. 

“Yeah, just,” Louis trembles as Harry finishes pushing in. Harry is big and it’s a lot and Louis just needs a moment to get used to this. It isn’t painful, it doesn’t hurt but Louis still needs a moment.

“I know, baby, I know,” because Harry always knows and just holds him. They are not even kissing, they are just breathing the same air. Louis loves how this feels.

“Okay, you can go now,” he says when he’s ready and Harry kisses him once before he starts to move gently. It’s deep and Harry knows how to use his dick and Louis feels like he’s in heaven. His eyes slip closed of their own accord. Harry slowly picks up speed because he must know that Louis would become too impatient otherwise. Louis starts moaning again because he can’t help himself, just these small ones.

“I know you can moan louder than that,” Harry smirks, and he sounds so smug that Louis has to open eyes just to see how cocky his smile is. Harry angles his hips a bit differently and picks up the pace and yes, Louis can moan louder than that.

It feels incredible. Harry is so deep, fucks him so good. He finds Louis’ prostate and just hits it every time. It is finally starting to feel like it’s enough, Louis is finally starting to feel sated. They can’t get any closer than this and Louis loves it.

“Harry, I wanna come,” Louis whines because he is desperate to come. It feels emotional in a way sex never has before, it makes him feel things he doesn’t understand, but it also turns him on so much that he almost can’t stand it.

“Mm, I know you wanna come. I wanna see you come,” Harry says and he sounds so confident. “You can do it like this, right, baby? Just from me fucking you?”

Harry starts to thrust even harder and maybe Louis can come like this.

“Yeah, you can. You gonna come just like this. Look so gorgeous when you come, baby. Don’t you want to show me?” Harry asks.

“Wanna,” Louis pants. He can’t manage to say more than that because he’s too busy getting fucked so good that his toes are curling behind Harry’s back.

“Just need a little more, don’t you? Always need a little more. Love that about you, baby,” Harry groans and it is so close to saying that, so close to what Louis didn’t even know he wanted to hear that he comes untouched, moaning on Harry’s dick. It feels just as good as the first orgasm, maybe even better because he’s got Harry’s dick inside him and Louis is starting to love that too. He is holding on to Harry so tightly that his nails are digging into Harry’s skin. Louis’ entire body clenches around Harry like he never wants to let Harry go. 

Louis can feel his body go limp when he’s finished coming. Harry keeps fucking him but he’s all sloppy about it like it doesn’t matter where he hits. It still feels amazing.

“God, that you felt so good like that, all tight around me. Looked so damn gorgeous,” Harry pants.

“Gonna come, H?” Louis asks softly. Harry looks gorgeous, all sweaty and turned on. He has this intense look in his eyes like there is nothing more important than fucking Louis.

Harry doesn’t answer, he just shoves his dick as far in as it will go and comes with a groan. Louis clenches down to try to make it better but Harry seems to enjoy it no matter what. 

Louis is exhausted. He can’t be expected to remain awake after having been fucked this good. Harry seems to agree judging by the way he has collapsed on top of Louis.

“Harry, move. You’re heavy,” Louis grumbles. Harry sighs but he pulls out and moves. Louis doesn’t think about how he might feel a little empty and like he wants Harry back because he can’t deal with that thought right now. So he just turns onto his side and demands, “Cuddle me.”

And Harry is right there, holding Louis just right, all big and strong and warm and Louis feels so safe and cared for. Louis doesn’t think sex has ever been this great.

“I’m gonna sleep now,” Louis says in case Harry hasn’t caught on to that one. He mm’s and kisses the back of Louis’ head. It is ridiculous how good that feels.

Louis wakes up some hours later and he really needs a wee so he crawls out of Harry’s arms who is still holding him tight. Harry doesn’t wake up but he doesn’t seem happy about letting Louis. Or maybe it’s Louis who isn’t happy about crawling out of Harry’s arms. It’s hard to tell.

Louis’ body feels sore and he wobbles a little as he walks to the loo. He can definitely feel that Harry had his big dick all up in Louis but he isn’t in pain. He just doesn’t want to get fucked again right now. Probably. If Harry kissed him really well and for long enough he might be convinced.

When Louis comes back from the loo, Harry is sitting up. He looks a bit confused and so sad and Louis instantly hates that look on Harry.

“Harry, no,” Louis says and he can’t get to Harry fast enough. He climbs into Harry’s lab and Harry immediately hugs Louis close to him. They are both still naked and there is so much naked skin touching.

“I thought you were gone,” Harry sighs. Louis can’t see his face but he sounds relieved.

“Needed a wee. Took its time because I’m all sore. Someone showed their big dick up inside me,” Louis grumbles. 

“You liked it,” Harry grins.

“I might have,” Louis allows. Louis swallows because he knows they can’t keep joking about this. He can feel his heartbeat rising because they have to talk about this and he doesn’t know what to say. He still doesn’t know what this is.

Harry pulls back so they can see each other. 

“You know how I feel. You know what I want,” he says softly.

“What do you want?” Louis asks anyway.

“Everything.”

The word hangs there between them and they just look at each other.

“I can’t do this by half. I can be your friend but I can’t be casual about this. I love you too much to be in a relationship with you if you aren’t certain about this,” Harry says and Louis still doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t want to break Harry’s heart, he can’t stand the thought of it. 

“I have never done anything like this before. Not the sex thing, I mean I haven’t done that either, I just mean. It has never felt like this before,” Louis rambles because maybe if he says what he is thinking, he will figure out what he is actually thinking. And feeling. That one is important too. “You are my best friend and I don’t ever want to break your heart. I’ve always hated that. That I couldn’t return your feelings.”

“Couldn’t?”

“Tell me you love me again,” Louis says and he doesn’t know why it sounds like he is begging. Harry would never deny him that. Sometimes they even say it platonically. At least it has always been platonic for Louis. He thinks. Maybe.

“I love you, Louis,” Harry tells him and it sounds so good that Louis has to kiss him again. Just the once. 

“I don’t ever want you to stop. I love it when you say it. I love it when you let me complain about silly stuff. I love it when I'm the only one you want to see when you are annoyed with the rest of the world. I love that you tell stupid jokes and that you are constantly into new stuff,” Louis says because he can’t stop and he needs to get this out. “I love it when I’m the one to make you smile. I love that even though you can make friends everywhere, you still never let anyone get between us. I love it when you call me baby. I love it when you fuck me and you need to do that again soon because I’ve been sitting here naked in your lap and I expect you do something about that.”

“Yeah?” Harry asks and he looks so happy.

“I love you, Harry. So much,” Louis declares. “And it doesn’t make sense to me because I'm not interested in other men. The thought of another man fucking me like you do makes me want to hurl. But that doesn't matter because this feels so right. And this scares me because I could break your heart, I could lose you. It could break my heart.”

Louis hadn’t realised until now how much this could actually break his heart, how much losing Harry would tear him completely apart. He thinks about Natalie and how Harry would always make sure to make time for Louis, and how the first thought Louis had when Harry told him that they had broken up was that Louis now had him to himself.

“I won’t let it. I won’t let this break your heart and I won’t let it break my heart, and I won’t leave you,” Harry promises and Louis believes him because Harry would never let him down. “This is good. This is going to be so great and I will give you everything you’ll need because I love you.”

And Louis’ eyes are a little wet and he’s laughing. “I know you do. I know you will.”

“And we are going to be so happy together,” Harry continues. He is smiling so much and he looks so beautiful.

“Yeah. I know we will.”

**Author's Note:**

> Extra headcanon that I have for this fic but I won’t include because I don’t know if you will like it, Wendy, so feel free to ignore it: Harry makes Louis top a couple of times because he's worried that Louis otherwise might miss it. It doesn’t really work for them until Harry makes Louis wear a butt plug and then rides him until Louis comes. And then Harry takes out the butt plug and fucks Louis until Louis comes again and then comes inside of Louis. They still don’t do it again.


End file.
